MTR 034: The System and Structure To Get You To Your Dream

MTR 034: The System and Structure To Get You To Your Dream

You've heard me share my dream for our family. What's your dream? Dreams are great, but if all we have is dreams, they're pretty worthless. Somehow we have to go from having a dream of accomplishing something as epic as raising a clan of kids who still love us when they are adults to actually putting in the work that is going to bring that dream to life. In this episode of the Man They Remember podcast we take a look at the core components of a system that will help us accomplish our dreams as men.

Transcripted Audio

00;01;14;19 - 00;01;52;01
Speaker 2
I'm David and I get the privilege of sharing with you today. Today's episode, it's going to be just a little bit different. Due to some some unforeseen circumstances and and personal challenges among the group of men last week, we were unable to get together and record an episode. So this week, I'm going to be sharing with you myself some thoughts that I have about the but the formula might be a way of putting it or the paradigm, the structure, you know, the system that needs to be in place for a man to really thrive in life.

00;01;52;12 - 00;02;12;23
Speaker 2
So I want to share with you just kind of the key components, the basics of the structure, the system that we all every single man needs to have in place in his life if we're going to be able to thrive. But but before we do that, I want to set the stage just a little bit Imagine you're an old man.

00;02;13;27 - 00;02;47;26
Speaker 2
You're coming to the end of your years on this earth. You look in the mirror and you barely recognize the man staring back at you. If you look deep enough into his eyes, you get a glimpse of what was. But who you see in your mind's eye is quite a bit different. From what you now see And even though you may feel in your spirit that you could still climb Mount Everest, your joints and muscles beg to differ You stopped working years ago and have spent the last several years tinkering around the yard.

00;02;48;21 - 00;03;06;26
Speaker 2
You never knew you could care so much about dandelions and birds. Who knew a human could spend so much time watching birds fly up to the feeder and find such great entertainment from doing so You and your wife spent quite a bit of time traveling, but even that is getting more difficult now.

00;03;09;01 - 00;03;30;15
Speaker 2
Sitting there in your recliner, doing the crossword or word all or whatever puzzle they have in the future, you find yourself reflecting on your life. And here's the question. What do you want to look back and see as you sit there thinking back over all that you've accomplished as a man? What is it you want to come to mind?

00;03;31;29 - 00;03;53;13
Speaker 2
Do you want to be able to go out to your garage and see the 1957 Chevy Bel Air that you spent so much time fixing? Do you want to be able to look over at your wife and know that you love her more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow? Do you want to be able to see all the plaques and awards on the wall of your den marking all your career accomplishments?

00;03;54;17 - 00;04;19;24
Speaker 2
Do you want to look at all the pictures hanging around your living room and see your kids, grandkids and great grandkids faces looking at you and be able to see pieces of your life and theirs? What is it you want to see now if you allowed yourself in your mind to go down that road? I know sometimes for us guys I can feel a little bit weird to do a little mental exercise like that.

00;04;19;25 - 00;04;47;28
Speaker 2
Like, I don't need to do that kind of thing. Don't. Don't try to get me to do those things, man. I'm good just like I am. But those mental exercises can be helpful sometimes. To help us get a picture in our mind, to put ourselves in a setting and a place and a time where we're able to really get a feel for what it is and I hope you just for a moment, you're able to stop and think and put yourself in that scenario, that situation years down the road.

00;04;47;28 - 00;05;08;10
Speaker 2
Maybe for you, it's it's 20, 30, 40 years down the road. Maybe it's not that far. Maybe it's even further. I don't know how old you are. Whoever's listening to this podcast, but as you put yourself in that situation, sitting there looking, looking out the window at the birds is the lead from the feeder, thinking about your life and everything that you've done with your life.

00;05;08;10 - 00;05;32;10
Speaker 2
The time that you've spent doing this or that. A new thought about what is it you wanted to be able to celebrate, what is it you wanted to be able to accomplish? What are the things you most want to be able to look at in your life and say, I, I'm proud of that For some of us, that might be those things in the garage, that might be the car in your garage.

00;05;32;10 - 00;05;52;22
Speaker 2
And I don't have a problem with that. There's nothing wrong with having hobbies and doing those things, but are those the most important things to us? What are the most important things that we want to have spent our time on as men and as we get to the end of our lives and we look back at the at the way we spent that time, this was one and only life that we've been given.

00;05;53;19 - 00;06;19;01
Speaker 2
How do we want to look back and see how we've spent our time Well, I've shared before on this podcast how my wife and I have a dream for our lives that comes. We borrowed it from a TV show I know how original that can be. But as we watched the TV show Parenthood and we saw how Camille and I'm forgetting the guy's name, I'm going to have to stop for a second.

00;06;19;02 - 00;06;52;08
Speaker 2
Remember Zeke, Camille and Zeke. So as we watched Camille and Zeke, you know, live out their lives as grandparents, having their kids and their grandkids come over to their home every Friday night, go out to the backyard, sit at this long, this big long table with strings of lights hanging over the top of it. It created a picture in our minds of what we thought we wanted our lives to look like when we get to that stage in our own lives, that we want our kids to come over and we want to be able to have meals outdoors and we want to have our grandkids all there at the table.

00;06;52;16 - 00;07;09;23
Speaker 2
And we want it to happen on a regular basis. We don't want it just happen, you know, a Christmas and an Easter and Thanksgiving, but we want it to happen often. And so that's become, you know, a driving force for us. And the way that we parent our kids and the things that we do together as a family.

00;07;10;13 - 00;07;31;12
Speaker 2
And the way we encourage them to become friends with one another. And so on and so forth, that's become a driving force for us. And so we we have this picture that we get to that point in our lives. We're able to look down that table and see our investment into our family and into into our kids and their grand their kids, our grandkids and great grandkids.

00;07;31;12 - 00;08;00;26
Speaker 2
Hopefully someday So that's the picture for us. What's your picture? So I want to go over really quickly what I think are five but six things that are core components to get you there. Right. Like, if you you know, you're looking at that picture in this, like so you've created this mission or this vision for your life. How are you going to get there?

00;08;01;04 - 00;08;26;04
Speaker 2
Like, how are you going to go from this point? To that point? There's a lot of time between now and there. You're going to need. You're going to need some kind of a system, a structure strategy or something to get there. So. So that picture becomes the mission. It becomes what you're aiming for. There's there's a lot of confusion about, you know, what a mission is, what a vision is, all of that stuff your vision is that is the target that you're aiming for.

00;08;26;04 - 00;08;48;07
Speaker 2
And then the mission is what you're doing to get there, right? So you've got this picture out in front of you where you're looking at the table and the lights and the kids and the grandkids. That's the vision. Then the mission is what do you need to do to go from here? To get from here to there? So it's pretty it's honestly, it's not that complicated.

00;08;48;25 - 00;09;05;18
Speaker 2
It's not that hard to figure out what mission is and what a vision is and so on and so forth. What's hard, though? The hard part about it is, okay, so I know that's the picture. I know I need the I need the mission. The mission is getting there. But okay, so what do I do to get there?

00;09;06;19 - 00;09;22;28
Speaker 2
And that's and that's where I think a lot of us guys can, can get stuck. We can get hung up on, oh, wait a second. I don't really know how to get there. I don't really know what I need to do to get there. I don't know all the stuff. Don't don't freak me out, man. Like like I don't know how to get there, but it's just too big of a too big of picture.

00;09;22;28 - 00;09;42;11
Speaker 2
I'm just going to kind of go through life and see how it turns out. But if we want that picture, we need to have some intentionality. We talked about that and recent episodes of the podcast, how we want to live intentionally. We don't want to just go through life accidentally and see what happens to us. We want to actually happen to our life.

00;09;42;11 - 00;10;01;13
Speaker 2
That's what I've said for years. Don't don't let life happen to you, happen to your life. That's that's how we're design. We're given agency over our lives or given agency to be able to determine for ourselves what we what we want to do, how we want to live, the the choices we want to make. All along the way, we've been given agency as men to do these things.

00;10;02;16 - 00;10;24;08
Speaker 2
So how do you want to live? Like, how are you going to get there? Don't give up your agency to someone else. You decide how you want to do it. Now, I have some help. I'd like to help you with this. And and the first thing is actually one of the things I think we can do as a podcast as as the man the remember podcast is the first component I think you need as a coach.

00;10;25;20 - 00;10;47;03
Speaker 2
Some might call this a mentor, if that's an easier word for you. Maybe it's a guide. You need someone who can be a guide for you, someone in your life who can guide you on the journey, who can guide you where you're going. Now, you you might already have a guide in your life. You're maybe you've got a good relationship with your father or grandfather.

00;10;47;03 - 00;11;13;22
Speaker 2
You've got good examples that have kind of laid things out for you. But if you're like so many men today, you don't. In fact, probably the vast majority of men in in our age bracket, my age bracket and the you know, I'm 42. So in the forties, thirties, forties, even some fifties but thirties, forties, twenties, younger, we haven't had, you know, a lot of intentional man training that's kind of been taken out of our culture.

00;11;13;22 - 00;11;33;19
Speaker 2
It's been taken out of the American society. We didn't bring in a lot of these you know, rites of passage that that have existed in other cultures and even existed in some form. And in American history. We've kind of taken those out so we don't really know. We're not clear what the journey is anymore for most of us now.

00;11;33;19 - 00;11;54;02
Speaker 2
But maybe you're there and so maybe you've already got that coach. Maybe you've already got that guide who's who's there, maybe you've got an example, but you don't have a guide. And I think we can we can come alongside you as as the podcast is, man and remember, and we can help guide you in that direction. What you need, though, is you need you need a guide you if it helps to think of a football team.

00;11;54;02 - 00;12;11;07
Speaker 2
That's, that's the an easy example for me because I did spend a little a couple of years playing football, spent a lot of time watching football, especially college football go Buckeyes. Right. I spent a lot of time. I'm sorry if you're not a Buckeyes fan. I know not everyone's a Buckeyes fan, especially where I live, like very few people.

00;12;11;07 - 00;12;31;27
Speaker 2
I actually root for the Buckeyes. But I'm that's a I was raised there then you know that I'm a Buckeyes fan. You grew up in Ohio. You're basically a Buckeyes fan. That is the team of Ohio, even more so than NFL teams. So so I've spent a lot of time watching football and I know how football works. So if it helps you, you can kind of you can picture a football team, right?

00;12;32;19 - 00;12;56;26
Speaker 2
You've got a coach, you've got players, you've got you've got multiple coaches and college football. But you've got to coach, you've got a head coach, you've got players, you know, and there's we could really go down the rabbit hole and make this incredibly complicated. We're going to try to keep it simple. But you got to coach. You've got a team, you've got an understudy, you've got a backup, right?

00;12;56;26 - 00;13;26;18
Speaker 2
You've got somebody who's your backup, and then you've got practices and then this one doesn't really fit Teams have these now, especially in college football and pro football. You know, they have they have they have team values. But you might think of it as, you know, that moment, those things in the locker room, the signs, you know, hanging up in the locker room where it's like give 110%, you know, make the effort, do all, you know, you know, those posters that are up that are often kind of cheesy and corny.

00;13;26;29 - 00;13;51;20
Speaker 2
But but they're kind of they're essentially values are virtues that are supposed to kind of keep you going towards the goal, right? So so if you're on a football team, you've got the mission or the objective and the objective is you're trying to win football games, you're probably trying to win a championship, right? You want to win you either your league championship or you want to win the state championship or or you want to win the national championship.

00;13;51;20 - 00;14;07;03
Speaker 2
You want to win the Super Bowl. You've got an objective that you're going after. You've got a coach who's guiding you on the way. You've got a team who's doing a with you because there are no quarterbacks. There are no one man football teams who have been able to win championships. There are no one man basketball teams either.

00;14;07;27 - 00;14;30;13
Speaker 2
Sorry, LeBron, you can't do it by yourself. So you need a team. You need an understudy. And this is a huge, huge hang up. And a lot of football teams, especially college football teams, they don't devote enough attention and time to the understudy, especially for the quarterback and so the quarterback gets hurt and then the team is basically sunk for the year because they put all their effort in the starter and put enough effort into the backup.

00;14;30;29 - 00;14;49;00
Speaker 2
So you need an understudy, you need practices right? You have to learn the plays, you have to learn the strategy. You have to you have to learn the right habits. You have to learn the right stances, all those things. And you need practice and you need you need guardrails and things that are going to guide you on this journey all along the way that keep you motivated.

00;14;49;01 - 00;15;05;25
Speaker 2
You have to be optimistic. You have to have the right attitude. You have to, you know, all of those things so so let me break these down for you really quickly and just kind of help paint a picture of this whole system, this whole the structure that we need in our lives as men. If we're going to become the kind of men people remember when we're gone.

00;15;06;20 - 00;15;26;11
Speaker 2
So we've already talked about the mission and the vision. What is your mission? What is the thing you're aiming at? What is the dream that you've got now? Who's going to be your coach? Who's going to guide you along the way? Who is somebody that has a plan? Who's somebody that knows a little bit more than you do, that can guide you on this journey?

00;15;26;26 - 00;15;48;22
Speaker 2
Somebody who who maybe is an expert or someone who's would be nice if you had your grandpa or if you had an older guy in your life that could kind of be that coach for you, that mentor. But so many of us don't have it. So so maybe we can help fulfill that role just a little bit. Who's someone that can guide you on this journey who has, you know, spent some time figuring things out, knows how things work.

00;15;48;22 - 00;16;07;03
Speaker 2
No. Knows how the world works. And also knows what it takes to to build good relationship with your wife and with your kids and and those what it takes to to invest in them in such a way that they want to come back around when they're older. Who's someone that can that can guide you in that process? Who's someone that has a plan to help you.

00;16;07;23 - 00;16;32;04
Speaker 2
So you need a coach. You need that coach is going to to guide you in the process. You need a team. Our American society would tell us that we can do this on our own. And that's just flat out false. We cannot do this on our own, guys. We can't. There are no lone soldiers right there. There are no lone rangers, I guess is the term there.

00;16;32;24 - 00;17;03;09
Speaker 2
We like to celebrate that story in our movies, and we like to probably play out that that story and a lot of video games. But the truth is, we need a team. If you're going on a mission and you're in whatever video game you play. And now I'm not an expert in video games. I don't know very much at all about video games, but I know that a lot of the mult, the massively multiplayer games, you have to have teams and you spend time together and your teams putting together missions to try to to complete your objective, right?

00;17;03;14 - 00;17;22;28
Speaker 2
So even in our video games, we see we can't do things by ourselves. We need a team. So we've got teams and our video game are virtual worlds. We've got teams that work that we work together with. Have we stopped to put together a team for the most important thing in our lives? And most of us honestly haven't.

00;17;24;01 - 00;17;42;11
Speaker 2
You know, it's something I've longed for and tried to create, and I feel like it's something we're creating with our, with our, our table of guys on the podcast. And it takes time. It takes effort. But, but who's going with you? Who's, who's on the field with you? Right. So you're the quarterback. You're, you're the you're the guy.

00;17;42;11 - 00;17;59;06
Speaker 2
That's, that's really the you're kind of the central player. The quarterback is is the key component. Any good football team? Every player's important, right? You need every player. You need the line. You need you need somebody to hand the ball off to. You need somebody to throw the ball to you. You need all the team right? You can't do it without the team.

00;17;59;12 - 00;18;19;11
Speaker 2
But you're still that you're still the quarterback of your life. You're still sitting there, you know, in the seed calling the shots when it comes to it, like the one who's going to decide to do decide what to do with the ball on the field is you someone else isn't going to do that, but who's got your back while you're standing there making that decision right you know, I'm a I'm I'm a Bengals fan.

00;18;19;11 - 00;18;41;22
Speaker 2
Been a Bengals fan my whole life. Most of that time has been a painful experience. But this last year, the Bengals made it to the Super Bowl. And it's because of Joe Burrow, right? Joe Burrow was the one leading the charge. Joe Burrow is the one. The one you know, rallying the troops, so to speak. He he's the one that came up with the phrase why not us?

00;18;41;22 - 00;19;02;11
Speaker 2
And he just kind of rallied everyone around that idea all season long. And and he took you know, he took it he took the brunt of the work. And that was part of the problem. Why why they struggled was their line wasn't doing a good enough job. Protecting him, not giving him time to as the quarterback to be able to make a good decision and make a pass.

00;19;02;12 - 00;19;29;29
Speaker 2
And and then his his receivers were struggling to get open that kind of thing. So so you need a team and you like you need the whole team if you're going to really be able to succeed as a football team. Same thing is true for us. As men if we're going to succeed as men, if we're going to get to that moment at the end of our lives or we're sitting in our recliner looking at the wall of pictures and we are able to look and see how we've invested our lives and the lives of our kids and grandkids.

00;19;30;08 - 00;20;01;06
Speaker 2
It's going to take a team. We need people to go with us. We cannot do it on our own. We weren't designed to go on our own. So who's going to go with you? Who's going to who's going when? When things are really difficult when you're going through a really difficult season with a kid, or when you're going through a difficult season with your spouse, when you're going through a difficult season at work, who is going to come alongside you as a team member and say, Hey, you can do it, you got this, you're able you're going to keep going, right?

00;20;01;06 - 00;20;26;01
Speaker 2
So I'm I'm happy to say, you know, my, my brother and and especially my brother and brother in law have been some of those people for me, encouraging me throughout the years when things have gotten difficult and challenging and more recently in the past couple of years, have had some guys that you're hearing on the podcast have also come alongside, especially in this last year, I would say alongside me and encourage me in that way.

00;20;26;09 - 00;20;47;00
Speaker 2
So I've got, you know, the the budding of this and I'm excited about it and I'm looking forward to it. Who's going to go with you? So you need the mission, you need the coach, you need the team, you need an understudy. This one may not seem like that big of a deal to you if you're if you're a father this is probably going to be your kids.

00;20;47;06 - 00;21;01;19
Speaker 2
You know, if you've got a son, you know, that would be one of the one of the the most likely scenarios to go to for your understudy is your son. Who are you going to teach what you're learning? And you might say, well, why is that so? Why do I have to teach? Why do I have to teach someone what I'm learning?

00;21;01;19 - 00;21;20;27
Speaker 2
Why can't I just learn it? And apply it to my own life? I don't have to teach it. And the reason is we we retain 90% of what we teach someone else. So if you read something, you know, you might retain like 40 or 50%, maybe less. I'm not I can't remember all the statistics off my head. I know they're not very good.

00;21;21;16 - 00;21;46;00
Speaker 2
If you read something you probably don't remember, if you hear a lecture, it's even less than that. I think it's down like the ten to 15% of what we hear, even if you're an auditory learner, if you watch a video you remember more. If you have your kinetic kinesthetic, I think is what it's called, a kinesthetic learning experience, hands on learning experience, you remember even more, but none of those even compare to how much we retain of what we teach someone else.

00;21;46;06 - 00;22;22;25
Speaker 2
So if we really want to become your masters who eventually become guides and other people's lives, we have to start teaching this early, right? That the sooner we start teaching other people how to do what we what we've learned, how to do or teach what we know, the better we're going to become at it. So so if you really want to become an excellent man, if you're only going to become, you know, a rich man who really knows a lot, you need to find someone to teach, you need an understudy, and you need to invest a lot of your time and effort and energy into that understudy.

00;22;22;25 - 00;22;45;04
Speaker 2
Right. I mean, this is this is, I guess, Tom Brady who who I don't really care for him, but everyone knows he's he's had a lot of great successes in his life. You know, this is Tom Brady spending a lot of his time investing in his backup and trying to get his backup up to the level that he's had, getting him up to that to the best he can be.

00;22;45;09 - 00;23;06;13
Speaker 2
Who are you going to do that with? Right. Mission coach, team understudy. The one thing is practice. What do you need to practice? What are what are some things you need to practice and work on? Right. As a football team, you have practices. You have way more practices. Then you have games. That's because it takes a lot of time to learn how to be a good football team.

00;23;06;13 - 00;23;30;01
Speaker 2
It takes a lot of time to to learn how to be a good quarterback. And you have to have some practice where you're actually putting into practice the things that you're that you're working on and you have a guide or a coach there who's able to kind of say, Okay, well, try this or, or, you know, you did this, you know, your hand when you were releasing the ball, you know, it went off to the side instead of straight forward or, or you, you didn't follow through.

00;23;30;01 - 00;23;55;13
Speaker 2
Whatever the, the critique may be from your coach, you need it. You need a coach who's, who's there while you're practicing it. And you need practices right? You need you need things that you do that reinforce what you're learning. So, you know, community of men, camaraderie, that would be one of the practices right? There are practices you can say you have a team, but if you don't spend time with your team, that would be the practice, right?

00;23;55;25 - 00;24;15;21
Speaker 2
The habit of spending time with your team. If you're not doing that, then then you don't really have a team. You might say you have a team, but you haven't put that into practice. So that's what I mean by practices. What are the things you need to do? And a subcategory of that we've talked about the several times now on the podcast would be what you might within the football analogy.

00;24;15;21 - 00;24;40;02
Speaker 2
You would call scrimmages, we would call them shared experiences. What are some experiences you can create to give yourself real world practice of what you're trying to learn for instance, you're one of the one of the one of the values that we have that we've talked about is overcoming adversity or it's it's endurance. It's continuing on, right. Is perseverance.

00;24;40;02 - 00;24;58;18
Speaker 2
That's, that's one of our, our values here at man, remember where we talk about from time to time on the podcast. So if that's a value or virtue, you want to learn, you want to become a man who endures a man of perseverance, then what are some experiences you can create to give you real world practice of that thing that you're trying to learn?

00;24;58;29 - 00;25;16;14
Speaker 2
And the easy example I go to is climbing a mountain like climbing Mount Saint Helens. You know, if you if you want to learn how to follow through with something and work hard at something and not give up, then give yourself a challenge of climbing to the top of a mountain and coming back alive. That's a good way to put it into practice.

00;25;16;14 - 00;25;36;12
Speaker 2
Right? Right. Like to not die on the mountain and give yourself some real world practice at this at this experience of of endurance and perseverance. So we need to create some scrimmages and experiences, and we need to do it just like you would a scrimmage in a football game. We need to do it with our team. You know, we need to do with our understudy.

00;25;36;18 - 00;25;54;16
Speaker 2
And a lot of times like you do in a scrimmage, you give the understudy a lot of attention, right? The the understudies and spring football games and and in preseason games they get a lot more practice then than the starters do because that's a great time for them to learn some things and get some on the field experience some on the field training.

00;25;55;08 - 00;26;20;29
Speaker 2
So we need to create those scrimmages or those practices, those experiences where we're putting these things into effort. And here's the last thing, and it's a core component to what we're built on here as, as a podcast that's what we're trying to do as a podcast is you need the guardrails, right? You need the mantras, you need you need what some would call values we take it a step further and we go with virtues.

00;26;20;29 - 00;26;44;28
Speaker 2
Yeah, you can value something and not be that thing, right? You can value something and not be you can have something that's a value to you that's important to you and not be right. You can you can value in trying to think of something. You can you can value recreation, right? You can have a value of of doing recreation.

00;26;44;28 - 00;27;07;13
Speaker 2
And activities. But that doesn't mean you are a creative person, I guess. Am I making sense? Maybe not. I'll have to think of some some better ways to illustrate this in the future. But a virtue is something you are. So that's why we have we have the seven virtues that we've talked about. We've talked about you're being humble, hungry, hopeful, honest, helpful.

00;27;08;29 - 00;27;32;16
Speaker 2
Ham is the last one. And there's one more that I'll remember eventually. But I should have written those down that those are like the seven core virtues that we that we try to encourage you towards. There's a lot more than that. There are other very we we have other virtues we talk about on the podcast than those things, but those are the seven core ones that are important to us.

00;27;35;23 - 00;28;01;06
Speaker 2
I'm just I'm just sitting here trying to remember what they are. All right here. They're I've got them for you now. Okay. They're seven humble hungry. I said those honorable being an honorable man, honest and not just telling the truth, but honest in other ways. Helpful hopeful and ham, which is our way of saying committed. But there's not a good there's not a good word for being committed, devoted as a man.

00;28;01;13 - 00;28;26;10
Speaker 2
So so humble, hungry, honorable, honest, helpful, hopeful and ham. So so, you know, you can you can value honesty, but are you an honest man? And if you're an honest man, like if you value honesty, right? It's important to you. You know, you want to you you work hard to be honest and and have integrity and things you do.

00;28;26;14 - 00;28;44;22
Speaker 2
But if you're an honest man, that's actually who you are. So you're more likely to live that out and when you live in contrast to that honesty, you know, it grates against you because you are that thing. So that's a difference between a virtue and a value. And so these virtues are these values become the guardrails. They're the mantras, right?

00;28;44;24 - 00;29;19;16
Speaker 2
They they're the things that guide us on the mission. Just like like you have those those mantras you know, give 110% effort all the time, which you can't really do because you can only give 100% effort. You can't give more than everything. But but, you know, that's one of the most common mantras, you know, is give it, give 100%, then everything from, from every year and all the details and everything give 100% well that becomes a mantra that guides you as you're working out, becomes a mantra, the guides that guides you on the practice field, it's mantra that guides you in the games.

00;29;19;22 - 00;29;40;09
Speaker 2
It's a mantra that guides you off the field as a player because you if you don't give 100% and school and you don't get the grades and you get kicked off the team. Right? So, so that's, that's give 100% is that mantra. It's a guardrail that keeps you in the game. It keeps you from making a mistake and excluding yourself.

00;29;40;09 - 00;30;11;10
Speaker 2
For disqualifying yourself from from being able to continue on as the quarterback of the team. Right. So so these virtues address the question what could keep me from making it there? You've got that mission, that vision out in the future. What is something that could keep me from making it to that final destination? Again? And the virtues then are the things that keep you from veering off course and making mistakes that keep you from from being able to realize that vision for your life.

00;30;11;24 - 00;30;31;08
Speaker 2
So the virtues are incredibly important. They're the things that keep us on the road moving forward for the long haul. So that's why we spent so much time starting off the podcast talking about and we'll come back to them again, these seven, you know, we'll come back to them every single year and go back over them in detail, humble you have to be humble and teachable.

00;30;32;06 - 00;30;50;16
Speaker 2
So you have to be able to receive instruction if you're going to become better, right? Otherwise you'll never change. So, you know, humble hungry, you have to once you have to have a desire, we can't want it bad enough for you. We can't one bad enough for you to get to that picture. You have to want it. You have to have a desire to to work at it.

00;30;51;00 - 00;31;06;26
Speaker 2
You have to be honorable. You have to be a man of your word. You have to do what you say you're going to do. You have to follow through all of those things. You have to be honest. You have to you have to work with honesty and integrity, right? You have to be true. You have to be the same person inside as you are outside.

00;31;06;26 - 00;31;23;05
Speaker 2
You can't be putting on facade so that's honesty. You have to be helpful. You know, you have to be someone that finds virtue in helping people in your life and and giving on what's been given to you. You need to be hopeful you have to be able to look at the future and say, hey, there's a positive future out there and I believe we can get there.

00;31;23;08 - 00;31;43;08
Speaker 2
Our culture needs that's so bad right now. Our culture is just obsessed with the idea that there's no way the future can be good. You know, and there's this perception among young people that that they don't actually think the future's going to be better. And that's the first generation to think that. So we need people who will lead by example and get out there and lead the charge with hope.

00;31;43;19 - 00;32;06;19
Speaker 2
And then we need people who are devoted, who are committed and that's the difference between the chicken and the pig. Right? When you when you talk about breakfast, the chicken makes a contribution, it gives an egg. It's a good thing, right? It's a good thing to give something. It might even be generous to give an egg, but it's not the same sacrifice that the pig makes with the bacon, right?

00;32;06;20 - 00;32;38;26
Speaker 2
The pig is making a sacrifice. And we as men need to be taught to be so committed that we're willing to sacrifice ourselves and the process so those are the seven virtues that we've narrowed down. They're more than that. Right. So we will keep talking about other ones on the podcast. But that's that's kind of the big picture that's the that's kind of the, the overarching system that's driving us as, as a men's group, as a men's podcast, and trying to help create, you know, a group of men out there in the world who are doing this with us.

00;32;39;02 - 00;32;57;20
Speaker 2
So you got to have a mission, you got to have a vision, you have to aim for something. And that's that, that practice that we talked about at the beginning, you know, sitting down and thinking and envisioning yourself looking back on your life, what do you want to see? You have to have that mission, a vision. You have to have a coach you have to have a guide, someone who's guiding you along the way.

00;32;57;29 - 00;33;16;18
Speaker 2
You have to have a team that's going with you need to have an understudy that you're teaching. You need to have practice or practices and scrimmages, and you need to have guardrails or virtues that are guiding you and keeping you on the path. So that's the system. That's kind of the basic system. Those are the core components. Every guy needs, every man needs these things in his life.

00;33;16;25 - 00;33;38;22
Speaker 2
If he wants to be able to arrive at that point down the road in the future and look back on his life and say, Wow, what an amazing life, what an amazing life this has been, look at how great my kids are. Look at how amazing my family is. Look look at how wonderful my grandkids are. Just look at all the joy that's on that wall.

00;33;38;22 - 00;33;58;16
Speaker 2
Look at all the joy that's in our lives because of that. If we want to get to that point where we're looking back on our lives and where we're able to look back with the good kind of pride and say, Wow, I really did something good in doing this, we have to do it with intentionality and effort. It's not going to happen by accident.

00;33;58;28 - 00;34;14;07
Speaker 2
We have to work at it. And these are the six core components to get us there. I hope you found that helpful. I hope that can can help you see, you know, why we're doing what we're doing as a podcast and as a as a group trying to help encourage men be the kind of man they'll remember when we're gone.

00;34;14;20 - 00;34;34;22
Speaker 2
And that's the whole that's the whole guiding thing right there be that kind of man. So thanks for listening to this episode. We love it when you leave us reviews on the podcast. And, you know, if you just take just 30 seconds, you can make our day literally make our day by going and leaving, you know, a written review there and leaving a rating, a five star rating if you want, you don't have to do a five.

00;34;34;22 - 00;34;57;27
Speaker 2
You can do do what's honest. But you know, we love the five star ratings that really helps get the word out there on Facebook.com slash man. They remember and if you want to join the mailing list, if you want to stay in the loop on new podcasts, articles, encouragement, all of that stuff go to man they remember dot com and put your email address in there and you'll be you'll get an email because like me, it's you know, email is still the standard, right?

00;34;58;15 - 00;35;14;09
Speaker 2
You know, I still prefer email. When I get an email, I'm a lot more likely to respond than any other thing. You get an email when we release a new episode and so go to man and remember dot com and put it in your email address there. We really appreciate that. Until next time when we'll have more guys back at the table.

00;35;14;18 - 00;35;16;02
Speaker 2
Have a great week. We'll see you again soon.

00;35;18;24 - 00;35;38;10
Speaker 2
Thank you for listening to The Man The Remember podcast. You can find us online at w w w dot man. Remember our com Facebook dot com slash man. They remember and Instagram dot com slash man they remember thanks for leaving a review and your rating on Apple Podcasts and most importantly, thanks for sharing this podcast with your friends.